"Bett and Bals" The Premise

It's been a crazy day, with Mats Sundin retiring (for now) and all, but for the most part, the day was stolen by Judge Redfield T. Baum's ruling that BOTH Jim Balsillie's and the NHL's bid for the Phoenix Coyotes have been rejected. Balsillie's rejected due to the Board of Governors not approving him to buy the team and the NHL's being rejected because it was too low.

However, I would have to say that the best and most amusing result would have been if RTB were to ACCEPT BOTH bids and have Balsillie and Bettman co-exist in a sitcom like fashion. Now, how it would work is that both men would have to live in a condo in Glendale and deal with day-to-day operations of the Coyotes. Of course, this creates bedlum between the two, as they have a strong dislike for one another. Yet, to keep the peace, RTB moves to the condo upstairs thanks to a supreme court order saying he is responsible for making this partnership work since he made this wacky decision. So, you have the two millionaire owners bickering on what to do and the upstairs judge trying to keep the whole thing civil and not get them all thrown out of the condos.

I'm already sold, how about you??

But who's to play each character?? That's simple:


Darren Pang on stilts as Jim Balsillie

It makes sense. They both kind of look alike, they are both very talkative people, they are both hockey nuts. Of course, the stilts get a credit because they are what's carrying Pang and the premise for this whole thing. Granted, it'll look awkward to start off with, but he'll grow into the stilts, I promise.


Count Count as Gary Bettman

This just writes itself. I mean, they look a like, they like counting-- whether it's for the betterment for the children or if it's just the money rolling in from revenue. They are short, balding, and puppets to someone more powerful.


Dana Carvey as John McLaughlin as Judge Redfield T. Baum

When I look at composites of RTB, he seems to me like Dana Carvey in his old skits as John McLaughlin of the "McLaughlin Group", which is a political show. Of course, both are moderators of their forum, both authoritative, and both sick of all in front of them. Fantastic.

Of course, there will be pop-ins from Jerry Moyes, Jerry Reinsdorf, and the Tampa bunch of Oren Koules and Len Barrie. It has the makings of the most fantastic sitcom pertaining to hockey since "The Tournament."

Stay Tuned

EDIT: The Canadian from Canadian vs. the Yanks put some PERFECT ideas for the guest stars in all of this. Just check the comments for her take on it.

EDIT AGAIN: Also, have to give a call to Aaron from Bird Watchers Anonymous for the idea of RTB living above Bett and Bals