Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Hockey Movie Fiasco

Buddy Greg Wyshynski brought to the attention of many that Hollywood is out of ideas and that New Line Cinema is creating a movie based on Sean Avery's time as a Vogue Magazine intern. And while the premise is....well....out there, it did make me think about other hockey movies that could be out there in the hockey world. Just off the top of my head, there's plenty of plot lines out there for the hockey world.

-With his career at a standstill, he hold his own fate in his hands. However, a back-packing trip through Scandinavia shows him that there's more to hockey than just picking a team and training to get ready for a season. It's about family, it's about life, it's about creating story when there are none in an unnamed Canadian city. Mats Sundin plays the heartwarming role of a man who is looking for something "The Deal Maker".

-After brutal attempts the year prior, one man holds an entire organization hostage even though he has his future plotted out. He's not leaving from greener pastures until his wallet becomes greener. Bryan McCabe stars as a hardass negociator who is ready to book it to Miami...but not before he gets his money. "McCabe's Millions" will be straight to DVD just in time for Christmas.

-From producer Oren Koules, a story about speed freaks and snipers taking a small Florida city by hook or by crook. With a youth movement in the fold and the ability to score with anything on the Florida beachs, the only thing this high-tempo crowd is missing is protection from being shot on against. Olaf Kolzig and Mike Smith co-star in the dramedy that shows you what every frat boy knows that you can only score so much without getting burnt. Kolzig, Smith-- "How to Lose a Game in 50 Shots."

-Proving he can transend the medium of hockey, Alex Ovechkin takes on action as he saves babies, fixes the world's problems, and cures every dieases plaguing the world today. "Ovie the Edge" will get rave reviews, but will get overshadowed by Sidney Crosby's short 15-minute film "Sidney Brushes His Teeth."

-In a throwback to "North", a young Swede is trying to find his way in North America and makes headlines in the process. Now, in a city that is as Western as John Wayne, he will try to adapt to the extremely cowboy way. In the process, he could show some other people how to use his customs as another way to go about things. Fabian Brunnstrom headlines an all-star cast in "Lone Star Swede."

-An international battle looms as one big city former US law student takes on a small town Canadian boy in a war of words that boils over in a huge verbal battle creating headlines across the 49th Parallel. With accusations, slander, and downright school-childness-- Brian Burke and Kevin Lowe square off in a knockdown, dragout battle for the ages. The yet unnamed project has had it's title debated and fought about for months now, with no end in sight.

Yes, it's a terrible attempt at humor, but you swing and sometimes you hit it out of the park and sometimes you break some ribs swinging too hard. I think this is the latter. Camps are just around the corner folks, bear with us.

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